Conversations With Hatta: Prison Break

The conversations are imaginary, but the situations are real. 

 

Hatta:   I broke through! I’m free! You thought you could confine me within these flimsy plastic panels, Mummy… you thought wrong! With my newfound mobility, I can finally explore the world!

Me:        What on earth are you babbling about?

I turn to look at him. 

Me:        Oh look at you, then. You’ve managed to roll out.

Hatta:   Yes indeed! I’ve escaped from that horrible primary-coloured monstrosity of a playpen I’ve been cooped up in… and now I’m freeeeeeee!

Conversations With Hatta: The Food Crisis

The conversations are imaginary, but the situations are real. 

 

It’s milk time. The little bear is happily drinking, almost at the end of his bottle.

Me:        Allllright then, you’re done.

Hatta:   Wait! I’m not done yet!

Me:        Yes you are, Hatta. There’s no milk left. See? The bottle’s empty.

Hatta:   THERE’S NO MILK LEFT?!?

Me:        In your bottle, Hatta. Of course there’s still some –

Hatta:   OH MY GOD THERE’S NO MILK LEFT! WE ARE FACING A FOOD CRISIS!

Me:        Calm down, Ha –

Conversations With Hatta: Me Time

The conversations are imaginary, but the situations are real.

 

 

Me:                  You sure you’ll be okay?

The Mister:   Yeah. Don’t worry.

Me:                  Alright then. I should be gone for a couple of hours. Three hours at the most. If he gets hungry there’s milk in the fridge.

The Mister:   We’ll be fine. Have fun.

Me:                  (skipping and dancing to the car) Woohoo freedommmmmm!

The Mister:   Err… don’t forget to come home!

 

---

 

Hatta:             Why is Mummy so happy, Ayah? Where is she going? Wait… why isn’t she taking me with her? She forgot me!

The Mister:   No she didn’t. She has an appointment with the hairdresser’s. She’ll be back in a few hours. In the meantime, I’ll take care of you. It’ll just be the two of us.

Hatta:             But you’ve never taken care of me on your own before. Without Mummy around.

Conversations With Hatta: Stuck

The conversations are imaginary, but the situations are real. 

 

Hatta:   Mummy, the cot shrank.

Me:        Don’t be silly, Hatta. Cots don’t shrink.

Hatta:   Ok. I grew larger, then.

Me:        You’re constantly growing, Hatta.

Hatta:   No, I mean like, really grew. Like that girl Alicia in Fairyland. When she ate that little cake and grew taller and taller. Did you feed me some enchanted cake last night? I swear dinner last night tasted odd.

Me:        You mean Alice In Wonderland, and no, I did not feed you any cake last night. Don’t be ridiculous.

Hatta:   Hmmm. Curiouser and curiouser! So cots don’t shrink, then?

Conversations With Hatta: Red Light

The conversations are imaginary, but the situations are real. 

 

Hatta:   Mummy, there’s something wrong with the car. We’re not moving.

Me:        There’s nothing wrong with the car, Hatta.

Hatta:   I’m telling you, Mummy, there’s something wrong. Wait.. all the other cars are stuck here too… OH MY GOD IT’S THE END OF THE WORLDDDDDD WE’RE ALL DOOOOOOMED HELP HELP HELP

Me:        Hatta, we’re at a red light. We’re supposed to stop. Everyone’s supposed to stop. Calm yourself down.

Hatta:   NOOOO WE’RE ALL DOOOOOMED FOREVERRRR-eh… we’re moving again! Thank heavens. We’ve been saved!

Me:        The traffic light turned green, Hatta. So we can go.

Hatta:   IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AGAIN HELP HELP HELPPPPPPPPPP

Me:        Are you going to do this at every red traffic light?

Hatta:   IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW ITTTTTTTTT

Me:        Oh good grief.